using clinical hypnosis for change

“Men are disturbed not by things but by the views which they take of them.” Epictetus

All of us have a core set of beliefs which drives our behaviour. We have taken on beliefs about ourselves and about the nature of the world based on what other people have told us, our experiences in life and how we have perceived those experiences.

Before the age of about 8, we are like sponges. At around age 8, we start to develop our critical factor, our ability to reason, which continues to develop over the years. This means that our view of ourselves, other people and the nature of life is very much shaped by our caretakers and other authority figures like teachers and religious figures.

Imagine what effect repeatedly being told you are ‘stupid’ or knowing that nothing you ever do comes up to parental standards or you are largely ignored for example, would have on you. Constant repetition of messages, both positive and negative can create our beliefs. I have even met people whose confidence and belief in what they were capable of was eroded by parents who said they just wanted them to be happy. The person experienced this however as a lack of support and interest.

Then there are traumatic events. There are those kinds of events we tend to call traumatic such as accidents, loss through death and abuse. Then there are those traumatising experiences such as being bullied and sometimes, the divorce or separation of parents. Events that seem innocuous to an adult can be traumatising or pivotal to a small child, such as a sibling being given a particular gift that you wanted. These can all cause a loss of confidence.

Then there is learned behaviour. We learn about the world by copying. A parent who lacks confidence can convey that to a child who then acts in the same way.

This is not to blame parents, caretakers or other authority figures who are usually doing the best they know how. What’s more, traumatic events can occur at any age and knock our confidence.

The basis for feeling that one is an OK person who deserves to achieve and be treated well by others however, starts in childhood. The good news is that with hypnotherapy, you can repair your self-esteem, build confidence and live a happier and more fulfilling life.